Phil Coulson, We are Definitely Keeping You
by Jetainia
Summary: Part of the Impervious Aces series. Phil Coulson never lies to his team, they ask a question, get an answer and then get proof. Oneshot


It was something that all of SHIELD knew, Agent Phil Coulson was an unflappable agent who never let his emotions control his decisions in the field. Clint had believed it, the man had shot him in the leg in the middle of an alley on a rainy night and then recruited him without so much of a twitch. Since that time he had seen Phil Coulson directing agents calmly through several devastations while everyone else was busy running around like headless chickens.

In the quiet times, he had seen Phil Coulson lift a side of his mouth in a small smile, generally caused by one of Clint's pranks or Clint bringing him coffee when the archer knew he needed it. Since he had been recruited he had attached himself to the Agent, this agent always told it to him straight and if he wasn't allowed, he said so.

Another reason that Clint trusted Phil Coulson more than the other agents at SHIELD was that Phil planned backups of backups and if the safety of his team was at stake, he would disobey orders and aid his team in whatever way he could. The rumours flew that Agent Phil Coulson could kill a man with a paper clip and Clint believed it completely.

Over the years working together Clint and Coulson had developed a solid partnership, one that allowed Clint to call Phil, Phil during their off hours. And then Clint nearly blew it when he disobeyed a kill order for the Black Widow. The Black Widow was an assassin on almost everyone's hit list, except Clint didn't kill her. He recruited her.

That was when Clint saw stress and anger displayed on Coulson's face. It was also when he heard betrayal in Phil's voice for the first, and only, time. He was given twenty-four hours to make his case then they would meet in a safehouse. Clint, Coulson and maybe the Black Widow. So Clint made his case and the Black Widow came aboard.

"Barton," Coulson greeted as Clint stepped through the door followed by the Black Widow. "Black Widow."

"You are Agent Phil Coulson?" she inquired.

"I am. What would you like me to call you?"

"Natasha is fine. Your agent has told me you are a fair handler, that he trusts you and not the organisation you both work for."

"Do you believe him?"

"I do not know, yet."

Phil had nodded, accepting the answer, "Do you wish to work for SHIELD?"

"I will work for SHIELD if I only answer to you. Clint assures me you will be fair."

"And I will be, welcome to the team, Natasha."

From there the duo turned into a trio known as Strike Team Delta. It was the team sent on those missions that would generally be considered suicide runs, yet somehow they always made it through. Gradually Natasha came to see what Clint saw in Phil Coulson. The unwavering calm and faith in his team, the quiet assurance that his plans would work and the care he took in ensuring those under his care came back alive.

They were a team in every sense of the word, had embarked on dangerous missions multiple times and held each other together until a medic could arrive on the scene. Several months into their partnership, Natasha decided to push the boundaries, checking to see there were no ulterior motives on Phil's part for bringing her on board. Which had led to the current situation.

Phil Coulson raised an eyebrow at the woman in front of him. "Do you intend this display to do something to me or are you just enjoying yourself?"

The Black Widow subsided as Hawkeye smirked at her. "I told you, Tasha, there's no hidden agenda. Besides, not even you can break through his unflappability."

An eyebrow was then raised in the direction of Clint Barton, "You decided to test me by using Natasha's feminine wiles?"

"Of course sir, we have to keep ourselves occupied somehow. Besides, I was curious. There are so many rumours running through SHIELD and I've seen how you always have a backup plan of a backup plan and never raise your voice. We were simply testing your limits so that we knew how much you could take in the field. Now we know."

"Indeed you do and it would please me if I never have to see such a display again."

"Would you prefer if Clint did the wiling?" Natasha inquired.

Phil huffed a mix of laughter and annoyance, "I would prefer no one did any wiling in my vicinity. A fact that does not leave this room."

"Yes sir," came the reply from the two agents.

"Can we ask why, Phil?"

Phil looked at Clint and nodded shortly, "Of course, I would never hide information from you two unless ordered, and even then I will inform you as you well know." They both nodded, "It comes down to a matter of personal preference. I am a sex repulsed asexual and as such do not feel comfortable dealing with sex or allusions to sex."

"Huh," Clint mused, "that's useful."

Natasha nodded along gravely, "If you are not attracted to sex then you cannot be distracted by a beautiful woman while you are on a mission. My trust in you has increased."

"Thank you, Natasha. Is that all you wish to know for now?"

"That's it bossman. Although there is one more question I want to ask," Phil gave the go ahead, "Is it food time?"

Amused huffs from both Natasha and Phil this time but Phil nodded and together they made their way out of SHIELD HQ to Phil's apartment. There they would wind down from the latest mission and enjoy one of the nutritious meals Phil kept frozen in his freezer.

Phil was in the bar, Clint up high with a scope watching over the scene and Natasha slinking around on the dance floor. A blonde haired lady with her cleavage on display sidled up to him, "Hey there, handsome."

"Hello to you, too," Phil replied smiling at her, forcing his eyes to trail downwards.

She pressed herself against him, "You seemed lonely, anything I can do to help with that?"

"Well, now that you mention it. I do have a little problem you could help with."

"It would be my pleasure."

"Shall we?" the woman nodded and linked her arm through his as they made their way out of the bar into the back alley. "My name's Craig, yours?"

"Alecia."

"I'm sorry, Alecia. But I'm going to knock you out now and take your key. Apologies if you misunderstand my words." With that, Phil stuck a hypodermic needle into her skin and caught her as she fell unconscious. He rifled through her purse for the key and anything that seemed important.

Clint's voice came through his earpiece, "We are definitely keeping you."

"I agree," Natasha affirmed.

"Thank you, shall we refocus on the mission?"

"Yes sir." They both said, quite happy to be working under Agent Phil Coulson. An agent who kept his cool even when confronted with overwhelming sex appeal shoved in his face. Sometimes literally.


End file.
